Brothers
by casualsupremacy
Summary: Belldom AU: Matthew grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, and doesnt care about anything unless it benefits himself. Will his new foster-brother, Dominic, be able to change him for the better?
1. Chapter 1

Different day, same fucking story. One month living in this house, next month kicked out, and moving on to the next. But honestly, I couldn't care less. It's three more months of this bull then I'm free. Three months then I'm finally eighteen and can legally leave this shit foster care that's been moving me around since I was six.

I don't even really need to bring my bag. I own three shirts and a pair of jeans, but I'm sure the family that's kicking me out won't need or want my worn out wardrobe, so drag it behind me. Letting it hit each step as I walk down the staircase. My caseworker at the bottom of the stairs is looking apologetically at Ellen, the bitch I've been living with for the past couple of weeks. As if she deserves it, but as I said before, whatever, the sooner I move out, the sooner I get away from this family of stuck up snobs.

I don't look at either of them before walking out the door, and down the driveway toward the familiar grey Malibu parked outside. I almost feel bad for Cary, no Carly, as she apologizes for me, but I just keep walking. It's far too late for I'm sorry.

I sit down inside the car. I can hear the pair continue talking as I carelessly toss my belongings in the back, but the closed door to my right prevents me from picking out the details.

After a few seconds of silence Carly joins me in the car.

"I don't know why you always have to be so rude to them, they're just trying to help you out." she questions while starting the ignition.

"That's bull Carly, and you know it, the only reason they even offer to foster me is because they want to show me off to their posh friends. I'm not going to dress up, and act like their fucking pet." her sigh is louder than I expected. I think she's finally grown tired of me, just like everyone else.

"It's Caroline, my name is Caroline, Matt, and Ellen isn't as terrible of a person as your making her out to be." I scoff leaning back in my seat before looking out window. I reach over my seat, flipping on the radio. Some shitty pop band is on, but I just need an excuse for a moment to me thoughts. She leaves it on ignoring my shitty attitude. I know on a normal day she'd give me a lecture about being great full for what I have, but today she stayed silent letting me sit in my own frustration.

My eyes wander through the glass as I watch city slowly fade to the Suburbs. My mind wanders as time begins to blur.

I can't help but call back the memory of the first time I moved. I was so nervous. My hands were practically dripping with sweat by the time I got to my new home. I expected everyone there to love me, and to automatically fit in as if we really were kin. I've learned to lower my expectations by now. In fact communication isn't even necessary. Just do what they say often enough to stay clear of a smack.

I don't remember falling asleep, but Caroline had to wake me up when we got there, which was embarrassing enough, but then I notice the house in front of me was very clean cut. It looked sophisticated and elegant, It wasn't a mansion, but the way it presented itself suggested much more wealth than I've had or will ever have. I immediately straightened out my clothes before glancing a quick one over in my window. Attempting to fix my shaggy brown hair that desperately needed a trim.

I tried to carry myself lightly up to the door, but as soon as I opened it to see the furnished home and quaint looking family inside all hopes of looking self-confident vanished.

There was an older man and woman who were obviously the parental figures, but there was another addition to this family. A boy around my age and height his hair was a golden blond, and it shagged loosely around his head. He was perfectly tan, I was disgustingly pale. He held himself high and looked sure of himself, my body sagged overwhelmed with self-doubt. We were complete opposites, so I couldn't quite put my finger on why I already felt so drawn to him. I wanted to reach out and touch him, to stroke his sun kissed skin and feel the soul beneath. I wanted to make sure he was real and not just a figment of my screwed with emotions. This was strange and I felt wrong. I had never felt this way about someone before. I usually just didn't give a fuck. Live your life, and let me live mine, but I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

I caught myself staring before he noticed, quickly running my hand through my hair, a nervous habit I can't help but hold on to. The mother spoke interrupting my thoughts.

"I'm assuming you must be Matthew, my name is Jackie, and this is my husband Rick, and this is Dominic, the other foster child living here. " she introduced nodding in his direction they each greeted me before she continued.

"I'm sure you two will get along well, seeing as you're so close in age." I could tell she was lying through her teeth. She had looked directly at my cheap clothes, ripped and worn from overuse and lack of will to renew the few outdated and underappreciated items I owned. I looked down at my worn shoes, noticing my jeans were about half an inch too short. I kept my gaze down unsure what to say, or how to hold myself. She cleared her throat probably feeling almost as awkward as I was. "You two will be sharing a room," she continued after a few silent seconds "seeing as we're limited in the bedroom department, I hope that's okay with you Matthew." I listened intently wondering if Dominic was looking at me, thinking about me, or, if he could care less about the new leach attached to his home. I looked up at them smiling briefly hoping to end the uncomfortable first impression.

"Name's Matt, and that's fine, thanks." I shook her hand, then Rick's, before giving Dominic a curt nod. My fingers found their way to my hair again wiping away the sweat gathered there. My mind was racing, trying to plot out the easiest way to get away from everyone and finally be alone to my thoughts.

"Sorry, but I'm feeling a bit sick, maybe from all the driving , but I'll probably just turn in for the night now..." I lied trying not to sound blunt while lifting my bag off the floor. A disappointed look seemed to flash on her face before a smile covered it up. She was probably planning on some ' quality bonding time', but I just wasn't in the mood.

"Up the stairs, first door on your left."

I nodded my thanks before turning to Caroline. Sometimes I thought about killing her in her sleep, but she was probably the closest thing to a mother I've ever had.

"Thanks for picking me up Caroline." I smiled almost genuinely. Caroline's been through a world of shit with me, and I think it's about time I start paying up my dept.

She patted my shoulder with a sympathetic grin.

"Any time, love." I gave her a quick emotionless hug before turning, and walking up the stairs. I continued past the first door that I knew was meant for me, leaving my bag against the door before venturing into the first room on the right. Standard bathroom. I made a quick note of where I would be taking my late night pisses from now on before moving on down the hall. The door for the next room was slightly ajar, leaving a stain of light from the door to the wall on the opposite side of the hall. I finished the already started deed, and completed opening the door. Inside was what I presumed to be a master bed room. A king sized bed was pressed up against the right corner of the room. Two bedside tables stood next to the coinciding pillows. My eyes immediately were drawn to the two twenty dollar bills crumpled underneath the table to the right. My head whipped behind me to make sure no one was looking before silently waking into the room. I picked up one of the two bills, and shoved it into my pocket before returning to the hallway. I repositioned the door to its original state before walking nonchalantly to my assumed new room. I picked up my bag that was patiently waiting for me against the door before opening it and ruffling through until I found one of my old socks. I crumpled the money inside, pleased with my accomplishment.

The bed sagged beneath my weight, but it was better than the soggy old mattress that was at Ellen's shit hole. I could faintly hear the family talking downstairs. I immediately picked out Dominic's voice. I didn't know how things would play out between us. I just hoped he wouldn't hate me as much as I already assumed he would

**AN: Thank you for reading. Reviews are always nice ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

My feet followed the familiar path, each of my steps leaving a small puff of dust from the unsettled gravel. I kept walking, hoping that I would make it home, my foster family expecting me within the next fifteen minutes.

"Hey freak," I cringed immediately recognizing the familiar mocking tone. Stay low Bellamy, stay low don't fight back, don't say anything you'll regret, just take it and move on. I shoved my hands in my pockets, listening to the crunch of gravel behind me grow closer.

"Hey, I called for you retard, you better turn and look at me." don't cry Bellamy. Calm down, you can handle this. I turned to face my accuser, breath tight in my chest. There he was, Todd Halcon, tallest kid in the whole fourth grade. Not only did we both know very well that he could easily beat me into next week, but he had proved so each and every time I walked home from school for the past three months. I was so fed up with him, if I could just stand up to him once maybe he would learn to leave me alone.

"You gonna answer me, or are you just gonna stand there like a stupid baby?"

I knew I shouldn't say it. Knew it would just make things worse, but I couldn't stop myself.  
"Why won't you just leave me alone you big, fat, ugly jerk?" I knew what was coming, I had seen it many times before, so my whole body tensed when he lifted his fist. My eyes closed tightly, afraid and ashamed, but instead of a cold hard blow I felt a tight squeeze to my cheeks, preventing anything from exiting my lips. My eyes shot open, afraid and not wanting to see what was coming next, but not stupid enough to keep them closed. He looked me in the eye, but kept his distance.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that you- you- you unwanted little shit-hole." His face was tight, and starting to turn red with what might have been rage. I tried to free myself from his grasp, but he pulled me closer, and looked me straight in the eye, his glare full of disgust.  
"I know what you did, know you killed your mom, know you chopped her up into little pieces and hid her in the basement too. Everyone knows you're a murderer." His grip on my cheeks was suddenly gone, and I felt myself shoved back. I stumbled over my own feet, my body hitting the ground hard. I choked on the air, unable to breath in, or let go of the fear that was trapped in my chest. His fists hit me hard, my lungs still craving for the air that was stolen from them. I tried to crawl away, tried to get away, tried everything I could, but he held me down to the gravel road, the rocks hard and hot against my back. Blow, after blow, after blow. I screamed and begged, cold hard pain quickly overriding everything else. The pain, I couldn't take the pain. Make it stop, make it stop, make it- Black overtook the scene before slowly giving in to the soft light of what I knew to be my room. My real room, in my real home, with my now dead and gone real family. I looked myself over in the mirror that was placed in front of me. I didn't question its existence, just its purpose. My reflection wore a blank expression, but something was off. Something was wrong. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was, but it didn't seem to matter though, nothing really did. I rubbed my eyes, my palms leaving a path of red behind me. Blood? I looked down at my hands to see cracked palms oozing warm, red life. I whipped my head up, returning my gaze to the mirror. My feet stumbled back, my breath caught in my throat.

"why did you do this to us?" I was looking at myself, but it wasn't really me. My reflection was of myself that day walking home, young, but not so innocent, and covered in blood. So much blood, more than I remembered.

"This is exactly what we swore we would never become." I tried to apologize, tried to move, speak, or reach out and comfort myself. Assure him that everything would be okay, but I couldn't move, I was a stone from my own guilt. He started to cry, large wet tears dripping from his swollen eyes.  
"You lied to me, and you're the only one to blame."

I forced myself awake, my stiff body sitting up strait in bed. A layer of ice cold sweat was covering my body, and my heart ached from its irrational pace. I breathed in deeply trying to slow down my deep gulps for air. I sat there, unable to move, my lungs stuck in the painful, continuous pattern of gasping for air.  
I don't know how long I sat there. It might have been minutes, or hours before I laid back down slowly, my eyes locked on the ceiling, gripped my blanket, damp with sweat, knowing no one else would comfort me.

I laid there until the soft mid-morning light drifted in from the window. I watched as it crawled across the floor with the sun's rising. Soft snores from the other side of the room confirmed that Dominic was still asleep. I glanced over at him, taking in his prominent facial features. A sigh escaped despite my previous silence, before my eyes returned to the floor.  
The sun continued its lazy pace. It's reach was doubled before Dominic's snore caught in this throat. He inhaled deeply before turning over in his bed to face the wall. Something I had never felt before slowly bubbled up in my chest. I hated it. I hated how he made me feel, because I knew he would never feel the same.

I sat up in my bed, throwing the covers off my body before picking my jeans off the floor and pulling them over my boxers. I grabbed a box of Marlboros from my bag, looking inside to see how much I would need to ration during my stay here. I still had six left, so I allowed myself one. I stuffed if in my pocket before continuing out the door, and down the hall, Dominic still sound asleep.

A note on the front door was the only thing that greeted me at the bottom of the stairs.

' Matt and Dominic,  
Jackie and I are at work. Be home around 6. Dominic should know the drill'

No supervision? Perfect. I continued out the door lighting my cigarette on the porch. I took a deep drag, holding in the smoke, feeling the drug induced calm travel through my body, before blowing out a puff of white. My feet led me forward, out into the untrimmed grass of my new front yard. The late May sun hit me warmer than expected, the humid air immediately clinging to my clothes. I made a mental note to save up for a pair of shorts as I continued walking, leaving a path of smoke behind me.

I kept walking until I came to the entrance of the town, if you could even call it that. An old worn down wooden sign stood in front of me. In chipped Maroon writing it read "Welcome to Greenwood Nebraska." I had lived in Nebraska, Iowa, and Kansas my whole life, but I had never lived in a town this small or remote. There were less than 30 houses in the entire fucking place, and I had seen maybe four people since I started my walk. Maybe a small town would be good for me, but I'm pretty fucking sure I'll feel like an animal trapped in a cage within a day or two.

My smoke was long gone before I started my journey back' home'. I hadn't noticed the dark clouds looming in the sky until just now. A flash of lightning followed by a defining roar from above let me know just how close the storm was. I picked up my pace, hoping to beat the rain, but failing miserably when the downpour started seconds later. I started sprinting cursing to myself the whole way back, knowing these were my only jeans, and that I was too much of a pussy to ask to borrow or buy a new pair.

By the time I made it back to the house my shoes and the bottoms of my jeans were caked with mud and I was soaking wet, freezing cold, and out of breath. I opened the front door and stepped inside, dripping wet. I stayed on the doormat, knowing better than to fuck up the entire house the first day I was there. Dominic came walking down the stairs just then, jumping at my sudden appearance, soaking wet, and still gasping for breath.

"Hey uhh—oh shit, you're soaked. Do you want a towel or something?" He ran upstairs to get one before I even answered. I couldn't help but smile at the gawky way he ran up the stairs, skipping every other step. Fuck Bellamy, get a grip on yourself. I swallowed hard claiming control over my emotions. I was a blank slate by the time he came back with the towel, It was still folded perfectly as he handed it to me.

"Thanks, brutal weather didn't see it coming." I put the towel over my shoulders seeking all the heat I could draw out of it, my body beginning to shake from the cold. We stood there in awkward silence for a few seconds both of us not really sure what else to say.

"Do you want to borrow a sweat shirt or something?" He offered, finally breaking the silence. I cursed my shaking body, realizing I was making a scene.

"No, that's f-"

"You're borrowing one. It's fine really. Plus, I know my mom would be pissed if you got sick." He started walking up the stairs before I could argue any further. I hesitated at first, but ended up following him up to our room.

He picked a random sweatshirt up off of the floor, and threw it at me. It was navy blue and it said Greenwood high in white letters on the front. I tugged the soaking t-shirt off my ice cold chest, carelessly letting it flop to the ground before sliding his sweatshirt on. I was immediately welcomed with his scent. It didn't smell like any kind of cologne, but it had a slight musk to it. It didn't smell bad in any sense, just manly. It was welcoming and I couldn't help but breathe it in again.

"I think my mom made some coffee downstairs if you want to warm up a cup, get to know each other." Normally, I'd turn him down in a second, not wanting to get close to anyone, but just this once I made an exception to my number one rule. Go for it Bellamy, you could use someone in your life.

"Coffee sounds great." Butterflies, I had almost forgotten the feeling.


	3. Chapter 3

There was always some sort of connection between people whose lives had set a direct course for shit-town when they were still kids. I wasn't sure why, or how, but majority of the time when I met another kid fuck-up we would get along, well, that is better than me and the majority of the population. Whether or not I chose to work with said connection, and become friends, or even more, was up to me. So, knowing me, nothing usually happened. The fact that I was okay with that slowly began to eat me away.

The familiar beeping of a microwave timer brought me back from my thoughts. I clutched my coffee cup tighter, seeking it's warmth to clear my head, and warm my chilled body. Dominic was still in the kitchen. I could hear him opening and closing various cabinets, taking things out, and putting other things away. I turned from my spot watching the rain and occasional lightning to find him facing away from me, adding what I assumed to be creamer to his coffee. I couldn't keep my eyes off the perfect ass of his. God, the thing was practically glowing. The things I would do to an ass like that, probably still tight as fuck. I could feel my, still soaking wet, pants begin to tighten as I pictured his naked body under mine. I forced myself to turn back around facing away from him, crossing my legs was I heard him walk over to the table.

"So where you from anyways?" He sits down across the table from me, accidentally bumping his cup on the edge of the table spilling a spot of coffee that's nearly white with cream. He frantically grabs a napkin from the wire basket setting in the middle of the table, wiping up the puddle. I pick up my cup, bringing it to my lips so he doesn't see my smile.

"Lincoln," I answer setting my cup back on the table, after his mess is clean, "you?"

"Here" I can tell he's trying his best to look natural now, and not make any mistakes. I can't say I'm not doing the same.

"You're whole life?" Frankly, I'm amazed that he's never been kicked out or had to move. He nods while shifting his coffee cup on the table, making sure not to spill any this time.

"Don't you get tired of it," My eyes returned to my cup, watching my fingers as they pick at warn 'Nebraska' logo plastered on the front. ", being in one place your whole life?"

"No… well yeah I guess but," I looked up to catch him mid-shrug.

"It's were everyone I know is. I can't just leave my life behind." We both paused to continue drinking. My eyes ventured back out the window, watching the rain, almost wishing I was back outside alone, but at the same time wanting so badly to talk to Dominic. Inbetween wanting to get to know him, and wanting to get into his pants.

"How many times have you moved then, since I'm assuming this wasn't your first." I looked back at him before answering.

"I-" It took me a moment to realize I actually didn't know. I couldn't remember if I had started writing it down in my memory or if I had even tried to keep track.

"I guess I don't know. A lot."

"Lived in any big cities?" He looked so excited about this, like maybe I could take him there one day, or something else I knew I couldn't promise.

"Yeah, not New York big, but some around the Midwest." I couldn't help but laugh at how worked up he had become. He looked up at me, catching my wonky tooth out in my grin. He burst out laughing suddenly, like my laughter had opened the gate for honesty. He pointed at my head, and wheezed out something I couldn't make out. I wiped furiously at my face, knowing I must be making a fool of myself with mud or worse splattered all over my forehead. He shook his head his laughter dying down at the sight of my confused and frantic expression. He took a deep breath to calm himself down, a caring expression taking over his face.

"No, see, you have this one piece of hair sticking up right here." He reached over the table and ran his fingers through my hair to flatten it out. I Bit my lip, trying not to sigh at the gentleness of his touch, or lean forward and claim his lips. He lingered for just a second when he was done, braving a glance at my eyes before returning to an upright position in his chair. I cleared my throat to prevent an awkward silence.

"Thanks." I continued before following his lead and taking another drink of my nearly empty coffee. He tipped his cup back all the way, finishing it off before standing up from the table, and walking into the kitchen. I kept my eyes on him, still unsure of what had just happened.

"I'm heading upstairs to watch some T.V." He opening the dishwasher while he talked, placing the mug inside, before closing it again. I could tell he felt bad, or awkward, but I couldn't make myself say it was okay. I didn't know how.

"You can come if you want." I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to, but I needed some time to myself, so I turned him down. I continued to sit at the table, the distanced thunder now the only noise in the nearly empty house.

"Could you pass the corn Matthew?" Jackie hadn't stopped talking to me since the 'Howard family dinner' had started. I think she thought I would feel awkward if she just let the dinner take its natural course with small talk and a few questions, but I would have preferred it over her life interrogation any day. The worst part was Rick wasn't even home yet, so all eyes were on me. Though, Dominic was much less enthusiastic than his foster-mother. Jackie had said "Rick has an unscheduled meeting toward the end of his work shift, and that he might be a little late", but I was begging for him to walk in the door every time she spoke to put the attention on someone else but myself.

"Mom," Dominic cut in when she looked like she was about to start questioning me again, "Let the poor guy eat. He can't even get a spoonful in between your conversations." I chuckled quietly at the unamused huff she answered her son with before turning my attention back to my food, shoveling as much in as I could before she took her opportunity to start asking questions again.

Rick came into the house about ten minutes later. He slammed the door behind him, kicking his shoes off dramatically by the door. My hand instinctively clutched the table tighter my mind flashing back to the only think I knew would happen next. But, he took a deep breath instead; walking over to what I assumed was his spot at the table as he did it. My body, tight with fear, slowly relaxed. I reminded myself silently that I was safe here. I turned my attention back to Rick as he sat down. He began filling his plate up still mumbling quietly to himself. I didn't know if staring would even be considered rude at this point with the show he was putting on.

"What's got you all worked up then?" Jackie was, of course, the first one to speak.

"Some people never cease to amaze me with their stupidity," He paused to take a bite of the roll he had put on his plate while laughing at an untold joke before continuing with a story I knew I wouldn't want to hear. "I tell everyone first day on the job. Son, if you're one of them cock-suckers, don't even bother coming back tomorrow." I could feel my body tense up again, but for completely different reasons.

"Yet, today," He continued unaware of the uneasiness slowly forming at the table. "I find out one of our employees is exactly that, a cock-sucking man. What a waste." I pick up my cup instinctively; drinking water I didn't need while trying to stop myself from saying anything I shouldn't. I kept my eyes down low and any opinions shoved deep in my throat while watching Jackie nod from her spot across from me.

"What did you do?" Rick hardly let her finish before putting in his two cents.

"Well, I fired the fag. What else am I supposed to do, freaks probably been looking me up ever since I hired him. That's probably all he wanted after all." He laughed at himself before taking anther bite of his roll. Dominic was sitting silently to the right of me. I couldn't tell how he was feeling, but I knew all I wanted to do at that moment was get the fuck out of this room, but I couldn't. If anyone else on the planet has recited that story to me they would be bloody and crying on the floor, but not Rick. I didn't want to screw this up, this was my last chance, so I was stuck biting my tongue for the rest of the meal.

I managed to not speak except when spoken to for the rest of dinner. My rage slowly forming and growing until all I wanted to do was either kill Rick or smoke all my remaining cigarettes. I politely washed my dish, placing it in the dishwasher before excusing myself to my room. I used every ounce of patience in my body not to run up to my room, but I couldn't help my increasing pace once I was up the stairs. I went straight to my bag, fumbling into my stash. I shakily pulled out two smokes and my lighter before making my way over to the window I needed to get out of this house, right now. I looked out, smiling despite my rage at the slanted roof inches below me.

I cranked opened the window, popping out the screen, before stuffing my supplies in my pocket. I went head first out the window, pulling the rest of my body out onto the roof. I walked a few feet away from the window, sitting down before pulling out a much needed cigarette. My hands were shaking now. I needed this smoke, it was all that was on my mind. The calm it would grant; the security. I lit it up, taking a deep breath of the needed nicotine. I sat there for a couple of minutes, drinking in the smoke before I heard the window creek, slow footsteps following. I knew it was Dominic, I didn't have to look. He sat down next to me without saying a word, just a loud sigh. He didn't have to say it, I knew. Something turned on in my head just then, the realization that I didn't have to hide from Dominic because we were in the exact same situation. He stood up after a few minutes of silence, he was going to leave, but I grabbed his hand, and pulled him back down next to me. I looked him in the eye now, meeting an equally confused and rage filled gaze.

"I want you to stay." He did.


	4. Chapter 4

The first week went by faster than I had anticipated. I had somehow managed to stay out of trouble so far, but I wasn't sure how long it would last. Word travels fast in a small town like this. And I've already managed to put out a few undesired words on myself.

I had found a 'friend', named Thomas, who was over the legal age to buy cigarettes, and a few other things, or so I had heard. We had a deal going where he would buy them for me. He didn't even have the smarts to charge income for it either. Small town hick doesn't realize how badly I need these smokes. Now that I've got supplies I've upped my intake, which leads to a much happier Bellamy. Much, much happier.

I had woken up later than usual to find Dominic still asleep, of course. That boy could sleep longer than anyone else I had ever met, going for practically days at a time. I scoffed quietly at the thought while I pulled my jeans over my plaid boxers, grabbing one of Dominic's sleeveless shirts on the floor, knowing I would be hit with the mid-day heat of June. I made my way outside, bringing a nearly full box of Marlboro lights and my lighter with me.

I sat down on the porch just far enough into the sun so that it's warmth was pleasant but not overbearing, a cool breeze aiding my low heat tolerance. I lit my first one up, taking a deep drag. Two birds made their appearance in the sky above me, dancing with each other between the clouds as I blew out a clean line of smoke. I almost felt bad being out here doing such a disgusting thing with such beautiful surroundings, but not bad enough to actually stop.

I hadn't realized how long I had been outside until I heard the screen door slam shut behind me. I turn mid-drag to see Dominic taking slow, careful steps toward me, a cup full to the brim with what I presumed to be coffee in his hand. There were small tufts of steam floating off the top. As he sat down I looked down at my cigarette, realizing it had to have been my third or fourth. I cursed myself silently for not paying attention and limiting my intake, knowing I'd have to call Thomas up again soon. I sighed loudly knowing my money was quickly dwindling down to nothing.

"How many of those do you smoke in a day now?" He sat down on the bench a few feet away from me, giving me my space while still making his presence known.

I shrug, not really keeping track. I know he doesn't like that I smoke, and his parents are starting to notice the smell on me. I've had to start washing my clothes before they come home if I smoke more than normal that day, just so the smell will seem distant or warn instead of freshly weaved between the fabric.

"You should probably cut it down. Mom asked me about it yesterday," He's hesitant now, knowing I won't like what he has to say. "I told her you're hanging around some people in town that I know smoke." I take a deep drag before dropping the cigarette on the ground, grinding it out with my shoe. I sigh out the smoke slowly savoring the last hit I'll probably have until tomorrow while kicking some dirt over the butt so Jackie won't find it later.

We went back inside after he finished his coffee, and the summer breeze had blown out some of the lingering smoke still stuck inside my clothes. He walked straight to the living room, flopping down onto the couch before clicking on the television to some stupid sci-fi show I had seen him watching nearly every day. I think he expected me to leave him and go off on my own like I normally did, but I followed him, flopping down into the chair next to him instead. It might have been my ego, but I could have sworn I saw him smile.

I did my best trying to follow his show, though, I knew he was way too far into the plot for me to even try to understand what was going on. I couldn't help but look over at Dominic, his jaws slacked and open slightly, the right side of his face leaning against his propped up hand. The rest of his body was resting up against the arm of the couch. I bit my lip trying to hold back the million sarcastic comments I thought of while watching him watch so intently, like if he looked away, even if just for a second, he would miss something drastic and forever be lost, like me, with the plot.

I sighed leaning back in my chair, which protested with a leathery moan that was loud enough to momentarily drown out the television show. I froze while realizing I had the key to unnerve Dominic's constant calm undertone. I leaned forward in the chair slowly, stretching out the slow, low groan. He didn't waver, his eyes still fixed on the screen. I took a deep breath before flailing my legs, pushing the chair back and forth, trying to mask my laughter after Dominic let out a loud sigh, his eyes faltering over with an annoyed expression before returning to the show.

I flung my body back and forth again, hoping to unravel Dominic's constant cool temper. He slapped his hands down on his knees, turning to face me, his face already pinched up with annoyance. We both looked at each other, neither one saying a word. He leaned forward, his eyes widening in the non-verbal question of what the fuck did I want. I mimicked him, trying to not to let my façade of cluelessness break.

"Seriously Matt, I'm trying to watch TV. What do you want?"

"Nothing." I shrugged trying not to laugh or smile as I responded, knowing I was actiong at least ten years younger than my age.

"Quit screwing around." He turned back to the show, only getting in a few seconds before I started up again, trying to make as much noise as possible.

"Stop." I didn't.

"Seriously. Quit fucking around." I moved the chair faster.

He stood up then, walking over to me, his cheeks beginning to tint pink with anger and frustration.

"Okay, what the fuck do you want?" I smiled up at him, my cheeks stretching to show almost all of my teeth, forcing my eyes closed. I relaxed after a few seconds, looking up at him to see I was starting to break his cool. Okay Bellamy, time for the big guns.

"Nothing," I mumbled "I was just wondering if I should call you Sweetie Pie, like Jackie, or use Sugar instead." There was a fragment of a second where he tried to hold it in before he lost it. Screaming as he practically bulldozed into me, knocking us both off the chair and onto the ground. He grabbed the pillow next to me, smacking it into my face while holding me down beneath him. At first I tried to block his blows, but I quickly gave up, my body shaking from laughter at his growing frustration.

His strings of swears slowly faded out after a few minutes, and the pause between fists and pillows to my face grew longer. We were both laughing hysterically now, tears running down booth our faces as if we were in pain.

He stopped hitting me suddenly, and his eyes met mine, both our chests heaving. I hadn't noticed his legs wrapped so tightly around my waist until just now. He loosened his grip realizing where he was, and what he was doing. I placed my hands on top of his thighs, pushing them back down. I looked into his eyes, meeting his soft and confused gaze. I licked my lips wanting to touch them to his, needing to touch them to his. I arched my back up, nudging my damp lips to his dry and still gasping mouth. He paused for a moment, almost frozen, before jerking out of it. I pulled back confused, and almost ashamed.

"I-sorry Dom, I don't know wh-" He cut me off before I could finish speaking, grabbing the collar of his borrowed shirt, pulling me roughly back up to his mouth. He didn't move his lips at first, just kind of pressed them against mine like he didn't know what to do. I encouraged him to loosen up, resting my hands on his back, my tongue trying to make its way to his. He moaned almost silently from the combination of my hands and mouth both trying to please him. He opened his mouth then, letting me in. He sped up suddenly, like the light and been switched on and with his sudden realization he didn't have time to take it slow. I felt the familiar rush of lust with his new pace. I had been looking him up for too long, and now that I knew we were both on the same track, I wasn't going to slow down. His grip around my waist tightened as he repositioned himself. I couldn't help but run my hands down his perfectly angled back again, Our lips continuing to speed up, our need overriding the now forgotten T.V. show.

His waist was so tightly wrapped around mine that it wasn't hard to tell when he came to life in his pants while letting out a soft moan into my mouth. "Christ," I mumbled breaking our lips to run my hand up into his hair, my mouth wandering down his jawline, slowing making its way to his neck. "Boy knows what he wants." He giggled softly pulling my lips back to his. I couldn't resist pressing my groin against his. Two moans filled the room from the sensation. I ground up again craving more and wanting to know just how far he was willing to go, deciding I could go for a fuck right about now. I could feel him freeze up at my touch. I backed off, realizing that wasn't going to happen, today at least. He stayed tight though, not even returning his lips to mine. Was he pulling away? Shit Bellamy, way to blow it. He was shoving me off of him now, like what we were doing had just hit him. He peeled himself away from me, stumbling away from the knocked over armchair, still breathing heavily.

"This is Wrong. This is so wrong." I didn't really understand what he meant until he turned to face me, he looked so young, so unsure of himself and what he had just done. Holy Shit. Please don't let me be his first gay splurge. I knew I was though, I didn't even have to ask. I could tell because I had seen it so many times before. Hell, I had seen it in myself.

I could hear his deep breaths from all the way across the room. I sat up straight on the floor after a minute, realizing he wasn't going to come back.

"I'm sorry I just can't." His eyes had turned the floor, unable to meet mine. I didn't say anything, unsure if he would even want to hear what I had to say anyway.

He sat down on the floor now, his deep breaths on the verge of hyperventilation. "I'm dead. I'm so dead." If there ever was a God, now would be the time that I would need him-her...it. I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to say? I took a deep breath trying to think of what I would have wanted someone to say to me in this situation.

"Look, you haven't done anything wrong." It didn't even sound like my own voice coming out of my mouth. Since when did I give fucking relationship advice? He turned to face me now, lips still slightly swollen, and eyes pleading for some kind of answer I knew I couldn't give. What are you getting yourself into?

"What do you want me to say?" I asked shaking my head slightly. His gaze lowered to the floor again, his hands picking awkwardly at the hole on the knee of his jeans. I couldn't help but see a reflection of myself, alone and confused. I dug deep inside, pulling out an answer I didn't know I had inside of me.

"Look, this never happened. No one knows, let's just forget about it." He nodded his head slowly, like half of himself was saying one thing, but the other half was screaming another.

"I'm leaving for a while." I mumbled picking myself up off the floor. I wanted forget this, hoping a couple smokes and a walk to clear my head could fix it. He nodded again with the same hesitation as before. I got up off the floor, grabbing a pack and my lighter off the table where I had set them before as I made my way out the door.

I started walking once I got outside, hoping it would clear my head. I my feet began to pick up the pace, breaking into a dead sprint within seconds. I didn't know where I was going or what I would do once I got there; I just knew I needed to run, needed to get away.

I ran until my legs were numb and my whole body throbbed with the synched rhythm of my heart and stride. I was sweating, hot, and I couldn't stop coughing. I knew I should hurt, but I couldn't feel a thing. I shoved it all down, biting my lip as I turned to figure out where I was.

A gas station looming in front of me was my only clue. An itch that I knew I couldn't scratch slowly made itself known. I couldn't help but think that in a small town like this grabbing a quick buck would be easier than taking candy from a baby. Hell, I could probably just ask for the cash and promise to pay the guy back. I know Caroline had said this was my last chance, but I was almost positive that I wouldn't get caught. My hands instinctively made their way to my, now sweaty, hair as I thought my options over.

No. No, no ,no. No more fucking up Bellamy. Stop with this fucking one way ride to lock down.

"Go home." I had to say it out loud to make it real, make it tangible. This was not happening. I was going to make it to my birthday, make it to eighteen. This _was_ my last chance. There were not going to be any more second chances, screw up one more time and you got yourself a parole officer, then who knows how long till you get to break out of the system. Play it cool till August, and then you're free.

I turned around slowly, taking one last look at the gas station before picking up my pace, running back the way I came.

It was dark by the time I got home, though admittedly I had found myself helplessly lost and had to ask for directions at least three times. So, I had more than expected the tongue lashing from Jackie and Rick about how "They had no idea where I was", and that "The next time this happens they would not be as lenient." I nodded when it felt necessary, but mostly just brushed what they had to say off. I was cold and hot, tired yet still full of energy, but honestly I just wanted to go to sleep. I felt empty, and I wanted nothing more than to shut out the world.

Once they had let me go I went straight into my room, the lights were already off. I assumed Dominic was already asleep, yet I couldn't stop thinking about him as I climbed into my bed, pulling the sheets and duvet tightly up to my chest despite the sweat still clinging to my body. I needed something to hold on to, something I knew was real.

I could hear Dominic shifting in his bed across the room. I listened intently unsure if he was awake thinking of me too, or if he was just rolling over in his sleep.

"Matt?" I opened my eyes at the sound of his voice, laying still for a few moments before humming in response.

"I'm sorry…" He mumbled, his voice trailing off as he spoke. I pulled the blankets closer to my face, the crinkling sound of new sheets filling the brief verbal silence.

"S'okay." I responded not knowing what else to say. I kept my eyes open despite my exhaustion and the fact that I couldn't see a thing. I could hear him roll back over. I couldn't help but feel the sting of familiar loneliness, knowing that that would be the last time we ever mentioned what happened today. I closed my eyes then, my body finally relaxing. I had, for once, forgotten that I hadn't had a smoke before bed.


	5. Chapter 5

As I slept the taste of Dominic's tongue slowly made itself known. It crept forward from where I stored deep within myself. It was amazing, intoxicating, and it never seemed to fade. His breath had somehow intertwined in with mine in a way that made me taste him all day long. It lingered and grew stronger until I couldn't help but crave a taste of the rest of him.

To let my lips carve a path down his jaw line tasting, testing every crevice of his neck. I would make my way slowly, patiently down his chest, my tongue outlining, lips sucking, each bump and curve of muscle straining beneath his skin. I could practically hear him begging me to continue, his voice catching in his throat as he writhed beneath me, his body pleading for the attention I was too willing to give.

I would tease him, my tongue slowly outlining the defined tan line I knew awaited beneath his boxers. Oh, how I wanted to devour him inch by inch. He would be pleading, begging, screaming for his one true desire before I gave it to him.

His hips would buckle beneath me, proving just how badly he needed my attention. My fingers would delicately crawl under his boxers, sliding them down just far enough that his length sprang free. It would be tall and throbbing, just for me. He was mine, and mine alone.

I would slide my tongue over him once, just to get a quick taste. His moans, somehow so close to my ear, saying my name over and over again as I slowly took his length into my mouth. An explosion of taste overriding my senses, filling my body until it was all that mattered. Pleasing Dominic, tasting and sucking until he could take no more.

Matt. Matt. He was saying my name as he began thrusting into my mouth, his fingers intertwining into my hair, pushing me down farther over his cock. Oh god, Matt. Matt. His taste filled my mind until it was all I could imagine, all I could think about. Nothing matter but us, right here, right now. He was screaming my name, over and over again as I bobbed between his legs. Matthew. Matthew. Matt. Matt. Matt.

"Matt, seriously get up. It's almost noon and Mom's going to come up here and drag you out of bed herself pretty soon." If there was ever a time to praise a god, it would be now, while my stomach was pressed firmly to my bed, so that Dominic, though I would love for him to care for me needs, couldn't see the hard-on I was hiding beneath the sheets.

I gurgled something in response so he knew I was awake before rolling over, the sheets bunching over the curves of my body as I sat up in bed. I made brief, somewhat awkward, eye contact with him before he turned and left me alone in our room. My hands ran over my face while I took deep breaths in an attempt to clear my head of the images still lingering and attempting to resurface.

I could hear the floor creak beneath Dominic's feet as he made his way back downstairs, where I could smell breakfast being cooked and could faintly hear Jackie complaining that I was still in bed. I tried convincing myself that it was the lack of nicotine and sleep telling me to kill her the next time we were alone together.

As I thought about Jackie my mind took a detour on Rick, and though I found it hard to admit, I had begun to tolerate him. He was quite the loud mouth, and he seemed very confident in himself. But, unlike the others in this family, he was a bit of a smart ass like me. He also knew when to stay out of my way, or just leave me the fuck alone. The jury was still out on him, which was something I couldn't admit happened often.

I could hear the all too familiar sounds of a kitchen as I walked toward it, plates clanking together, sinks being flipped on and off, pleasant family chatter, well pleasant foster family chatter, if you will. It was almost like a scene from one of those shitty family films where everything went exactly the way everyone had planned. I almost smiled at the thought that I could relax today, maybe get out and smoke a few, have a chat with Dominic if I played my cards right.

Everyone else had already finished long before I came downstairs, so I ate my breakfast at the table alone, which believe me, was preferred over having to watch other people dribble all over themselves while I ate anyway.

While eating the already cold pancakes I could hear Jackie and Rick fighting over something in the Living room, which seemed to be a recurring theme over the past week. They weren't serious fights and, from what I've seen, it truthfully seems like they are still in love, unlike 90% of other marriages. But, I can't help but wonder how they ended up together in the first place. Rick seems like such a solid structure with strict values and opinions, though I knew underneath he probably means well. While Jackie, is one of those free spirit types who I can imagine being an artist in collage, completely broke and nothing to her name except her own paintings. They're complete opposites, and I wouldn't deny I've heard the phrase 'opposites attract' but I wasn't sure just how truthful that saying was at this point.

I finished the last bite of soggy, cold breakfast knowing Jackie had probably woken up early to slave over it for me, only to find I had slept until it wasn't half as good as it would have been two hours ago. I had come to accept that all families felt the need to do this. It was something they did to help make their house give off the impression of a 'welcome home'. I was used to it by now, but someone really should explain to foster parents that all kids really wanted was to be able to blend into the background as soon as possible. Making them special foods and having organized bonding times was really the opposite of what made them feel relaxed.

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket as I stood up from the table, my chair grinding against the wood floor. I thought it was some kind of joke at first, the fact that I had received probably less than 10 texts in the last month playing into my surprise. "New Message From: TK." flashed across the screen. I opening it quickly, realizing it was from Thomas Kane, the hick who bought my cigarettes. "u still wanna meet up at the silos today?" My fingers rubbed over the buttons while thinking out my options. I didn't know if going on a weekend was the best idea, unsure what Rick and Jackie would do if they heard word that their precious foster child was already up to no good. But hey, they might as well learn early if they're going to learn at all. "Meet me there in 10. Bring 4." I pressed send seconds before Dominic stumbled into the kitchen. He was staring down at his own phone, a slight smile breaking his lips.

"I'm going out." I said walking past him, his eyes still fixed on the screen. He didn't look up from his phone so I kept walking, pausing in the entryway to grab some bills out of a bag I had left by the door in my rush last night. As I rummaged through my bag I could hear the quiet slap of his feet against the wood floor toward where I was squatting.

"Where to?"

"Silos," I made up fake reasons to keep my eyes on the ground as I shoved the money into my pocket, not having the time or will to fold them up correctly. ", meeting Thomas there." I added so he knew not to tell our 'parents' where to find me.

"I'll come." He said after a few seconds, already picking his shoes up from where he had kicked them off yesterday. I could hear him sliding them on to his feet, knowing I would let him come. I almost wanted to tell him he couldn't then, after he had assumed he could. Tell him I didn't want him to go…almost. I hid the smile that had snuck up to my lips by leaning down to pull the back of my sneaker out from where it was caught underneath my heel.

"You sure you wanna? I'll probably stay and smoke a few, plus, it won't be very fun anyway." I turned to face him finally, my cheeks heating up when I noticed he was already looking in my direction.

"I won't if you don't want me to." He was hiding his own smile now, probably noticing the unwelcome red creeping up my face.

"No," I said too quickly, cursing myself for constantly becoming so awkward around him. "I just meant don't feel like you have to."

"I want to." And with that he walked out the door, leaving me more confused about him than ever before. Dominic was a new kind of game, one I had never played before, but don't think for a second that I would give up to his challenge.

The familiar slamming of our screen door was follow by the sound of shoes crunching on gravel, each footstep outlined by the moving and grinding of stone. We didn't speak as we walked, our thoughts somehow filling the normal emptiness silence seemed to bring. I could feel the sun warming my skin as we walked, it seemed to creep under my clothes, grabbing hold of my body, clinging to my bones, so that I could remember how it felt when summer had come and gone and winter reigned over the sky once again.

The familiar sound of my footsteps brought my mind back to a happier time. A time when both my hands were held by bigger, stronger, warn fingers belonging to happy, smiling faces. I know now that those smiles were never real, and that it was all just a show to get us through the day. As I pictured those smiles, they slowly faded into the straight controlled expressions that weren't as far back in my memories. They morphed into the faces I found myself making throughout my own day, just to get through, just to get by.

"What are you thinking about?" I looked up from the unchanging gravel below me to see he was watching the grey silos looming ahead of us, growing taller with each step we took, obviously thinking some things over for himself.

"Nothing." I said even though I was thinking of everything all at once.

"Same." He sighed, and I knew I probably should have asked him what was on his mind, but I didn't. I never knew how to find the words to say when I needed them most, so we kept walking in silence until I saw a somewhat familiar silhouette leaning up against the giant grey towers.

"Heya Mark, how goes it?" He always spoke three times as loud as he needed to, his voice seemingly filling up all the space between us.

"It's Matt." I said turning around to notice Dominic had stayed in the other side of the street between town and our meeting place. I couldn't tell if he was intimidated by Thomas, or if he was just trying to give us some space.

"Yeah, well, here's your smokes. Four boxes was eighteen-fifty so I'll take a twenty and keep the change." Big boy was expanding his profit. Good for him, he was going to need to learn that somewhere along the way. I handed him the wadded up bill for the promised four boxes.

I watched him shuffling awkwardly for a few seconds, his body screaming that he wasn't sure what to do. "Alright…well I'm gonna go now." I laughed then, easing the tension he seemed to feel.

"Okay Thomas I'll see ya' round." He nodded toward me as if I was the one in charge. I looked him over, his body at least 5 inches taller than mine, and I couldn't help but wonder if I was that intimidating. If everyone around me wasn't being polite, but if in reality they were all just scared of me. I wondered, for what might have been the first time, who I came across as, and how people thought I would react if I didn't get me way.

"Matt?" I hadn't heard Dominic crossing the street, or walking up behind me, but there we was, just inches from where I was standing. I looked at him, wondering how he saw me. "You okay man? You look a little…spooked." I cleared my throat, shaking my head slightly.

"Yeah, I just need one of these." I held up the box, my hands starting to shake from withdrawal. "Or maybe two." I tore the box open then, pulling out the first clean cigarette I had had in nearly twenty-four hours. I lit it quickly putting it to my mouth, the need for it hitting me hard now that it was in my hand. I took a deep breath in of the smoke, my whole body relaxing once it hit my lungs. It seemed to speak a language that calmed me more than any person could.

I sat down next to the silo, probably in the same spot Thomas had been waiting for me earlier today. Dominic slid down next to me, his legs crossed in front of him. As I looked at him I remembered how he had said he wanted to come with me. Dominic wanted to be here with me, even if he was the only person who did it had to count for something.

I could tell he was watching me as I practically praised the drug in my hand so I turned to look at him just as I was taking another hit of smoke, the butt burning red while a sucked in. I let the smoke crawl slowly out my nose while holding the cigarette out to Dom. I could see him watching the puff of white before smiling slightly, picking it up delicately from my hand, but not making any effort to actually try it.

"Well?" I pushed, a smile creeping onto my lips as he stared down at the dwindling drug as if it held some kind of secret only I knew how to access.

"I don't know how." He admitted quietly like he was afraid someone would hear us out here surrounded by nothingness.

"Look, it's simple." I turned my body so I was facing him, our knees touching lightly. "You just put it up to your lips." I took is hand and directed it to his mouth. "Then you put your mouth around it and breath it in." I let go if his hand, and let mine fall into my lap. He sucked in deeply, probably imitating what I had been doing earlier, coughing it out seconds later, his eyes red and watery, just like I knew they would be. We both laughed then, his more coughing fit then laughing.

"That's terrible." He was wiping at his eyes now, trying to rub away the smoke that was swimming inside.

"At first," I smiled as he handed me what was left. I took one last drag before flicking the butt into the street. "It gets better the more you do it." I wrapped my arms around my legs, pulling myself into a fetal position while a cool breeze cleared out what smoke was still dancing around us.

"Is it really as bad for you as everyone always says, or is it all just a load of shit?" He was still looking at me as he spoke, his hands tugging at the overgrown crabgrass beneath us.

"Load of shit." I lied, my whole body screaming for just one more, but knowing we should probably start heading home. I stood up then, breaking what connection we had been starting to make. Dominic followed my example, I probably should have offered him a hand, but I didn't know if that would be crossing the thin line he had reestablished.

We stood waiting for the traffic to pause before sprinting across the hot black pavement, our breathy laughter covered by the dull roar of traffic.

"We should do this again." He said over our footsteps as we started our walk back home. He was behind me, so I couldn't tell if he was looking at me or not, but I allowed myself to smile.

"Agreed." Suddenly this town didn't seem so cramped. In fact, it wasn't really small at all. I had just been looking at it through the wrong eyes.


End file.
